Before you had kids, did you and your partner sit down and discuss the "hows" of child rearing? Because we didn't. My husband and I are so in sync with everything else in our lives, I guess we both assumed that we would be on the same page regarding things like house rules and discipline. And when the kids were very small (like couldn't walk or talk), we were. How much discipline does a baby need? However, now that they are bigger (6 years and 3 years), I'm finding that there are a bunch of things we simply don't agree on.
Not big things, like the importance of education, the role religion will play in our lives, etc. It's the little things...like when to excuse them from the dinner table, how much TV they are allowed to watch, and how often to allow special treats after meals. We simply are not united on so many of those fronts - and we need to be. It is very hard to hold my tongue when I see my husband allowing (or prohibiting) something that I wouldn't. And so I say things like "Oh, what's the big deal. What's five more minutes with the Leapster?." Not good. I should most definitely not be contradicting him in front of my kids. Not only is it just bad parenting practice, but my kids are smart, and they are learning which of us to ask for certain things and, worse, they pit us against each other. Uh-oh.
I know we can't be the only couple who aren't 100% united on issues regarding our children. But we really need to get it together. I'm intimidated by the conversation, as I hate any kind of confrontation, even the civil kind. But, it's a must have - know it is. It's easier to do it now than wait, I know.
I'm sure this won't be my last post on this subject. If you have any thoughts - or want to share your own stories, please do. I'd love to hear from you.
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